So my birthday is coming up. A new year of school is starting today. It's amazing how time passes. At once it seems as if things will never end, and then before you know it, it's gone. So many things have been running through my mind lately as I come to my 28th birthday. Not so much about what I haven't accomplished yet, but what I will accomplish. My biggest fear is that I will miss God-ordained opportunities because of my stubborness or unnwillingness to see past my perspective. I think one of the benefits of worship is all about a great exchange--my can'ts for His cans, my finite for His infinite, my weakness for His strength, my will for His. While I've always been a person who usually does things all the way, I've been thinking about how I'll follow God this coming year. Will I follow Him with everything, or will I follow Him just when I feel like it? I know I'm not even 30 yet, but my perspective on time on earth has greatly changed in the past four years. I'm starting to think about things in the light of eternity more than I ever have. I'm starting to think about how I'm affecting the people I love and even the people I don't know that well. How am I making a dent in the world for the Kingdom of Heaven? Am I just out to have a good time, or am I spending my life building relationships with people which will count long after I've breathed my last breath?
Over this great precipice, I am reminded that success or utter failure is possible. I am reminded that I could throw all of this away and run from God, or I could live unashamedly in love with Him. It's comforting to know that God will walk with me through everything I will encounter this year. Even when I feel inadequate.
One Sunday morning, right before our worship team prayed, I was drawn to Psalm 18. What an incredibe psalm! In the midst of being delivered from Saul, David remembered all the things that God saw Him through. It encouraged me so much that when I feel I am inadequate for the task at hand, God is going to make me "more than a conqueror" and help me to be the "mighty [wo]man of God" that I am. It reminds me that as I look forward to my personal new year that I don't have to fear what's coming ahead. I'm praising God for the grace, the provision, the healing, the fullness of what is coming around the corner. I praise Him for the ways of how He's going to show me how to love people better. I praise Him for the ways He's going to deepen my love for Him.
So am I nervous about turning 28? A little, but bring it on, because I'm excited about the places God is going to take me in the next year!